PRESENTATION/THE ‘STUDY MATERIAL ‘FOR ‘SOFT SKILLS’ IN TRAINING PROGRAMME:

 soft skills.ppt

(I): Soft Skills –Basic Points to Know about:

 ‘Soft Skills’ as we now generally say is nothing but non-technically the application and adaptation of Behavioral Sciences clubbed with Psychology. Soft skills also represent as an Art, being it involves an individual, a group of persons, Institutions, Organizations, as well. It begins with learning techniques followed by motivation and adaptations by the persons having leaning and interest to learn for future and for developing leadership qualities. It is the link between the person(s) and the organization, the company, institution you work for and with the matters you deal in your day to day assigned job-work. It will, in fact, change the ‘traits’ in which one was/is living all these days.

The learning of soft skills shall have full pledged impact and bearing on the professionals whose aim and object is nothing but progress in the job-area ,with praise and elevation to higher ranks and grades, the emoluments and take home salary thus increases with apparition, and what not.

 This is nothing but ‘Personality Development’. The saying ’You can not lead any one else further than you have gone yourself’ can just be side lined and scroll-off by learning the soft skills. How to improve our soft skills and impress upon is present days’ challenging task that is keeping every professional at bay, why, then we learn and know some thing about soft skills to over come all types of hurdles, barricades and what not to know ourselves and for prospective implementation for success in life.

Once a Character is lost every thing is lost; the character stands like a tree and its shadow like the reputation. This reputation is nothing but what others think of us, and seen by many, under which they may even take shelter, but if once the shadow starts diminishing its shade, that is all, they shall not hesitate to move away and search for some other share/shade. But the tree is always and all the time is the real one. Therefore, one shall not try to destroy it, or cut is short. Always try to enhance its power and strength by pouring improvised knowledge- water, protect the tree by using proper fertilizers, the pesticides and with proper carvings, proceeding with determination to learn and learn soft skills. Let one become the cash crop and the cash dispenser for others.

  One shall understand that ‘ one can not learn each and every thing over night , but success comes through step by step only with positive thoughts and inclination to learn and learn through out  the life with belief and concentration on the given subject, matter, institution, or organization.

   For any work, at any place, one shall have three requisite qualities:

·   Upasana; Sadhana;  Ardhana;

·                       Having already learnt, and possessing ‘know-how’ knowledge in an Organization, the only matter that is to be for consideration of each and every one is: (a) - firm determination and commitment to learn soft skills;

   (b)- Proper Planning and execution of the soft skills learnt and apply at appropriate place and time while dealing with employees, workers, people, customers, dealing in Corporate Houses, and a lot expected to be seen and observed in the external world of present day’s competitive life;   

·              It is not only equips one for personal development, but invariably works for personality development.

·              Failure in handling a matter effectively and efficiently within time bound situation does not necessarily be blamed for their lack of understanding and approach in a given job. They may be/are very well and in all respects fit to hold the job and well qualified in all respects, expertise in Hard Skills, but may be lacking one or the other Soft skills, by which they might be one step short of the goal and the target. But, at times, they fail in their attitude, approach, and in handling the situation in a desired direction or level.

The solution and for 100 % success at the work place or even at Home-Work spots, it is here, learn and follow some necessities from Soft Skills Methodology.  

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2: Soft Skills-A path for professional’s success and career development:

In this competitive world, not only for getting a job, but also to withstand to all types of pressures from inside and out side the job, one has to lay his mind and approach on the ‘Soft Skills’ which are but essential qualities of a good official, and to be considered as one of the Path for Professional’s success and career development.

The present mode of education system right from LKG to PG and also in the IT, S&T have patronized techniques and technicalities-hard/soft ware to make one to lean for money earning aspect with their  Skills and knowledge improvement in a given field or of their choice. The Physical and  body building  exercises, the sports and games, practice of Yoga clubbed with Meditation gives physical  fitness, strength and stamina, Meditation, taken under a trained Guru may provide to reach right perceptive, expansion of mind thoughts and its application, and go for a correct way of approach, etc.

Soft Skills training provides one to have positive thoughts, adaptation, and approach by sidelining negative thoughts and beliefs; inborn negative thoughts shall be washed out immediately after the training, if one applies his mind with practicality in day to day jobs, which shall undoubtedly lead one to creativity and progress, not only in the Organization where they work, but also in life their span.

Traditional and Technical ‘Hard Skills, Hard Ware and Soft Ware systems can be learnt easily, but these soft skills have to be learnt by students, job holders and officials by application of mind and by following the methodology inscribed in it.

These soft skills now upcoming for all work-study and as Project Studies are nothing but the One’s Own Phenomenon of Revamping the Psychology System/ Behavioral Science in a refined and defined manner to suit to the occasion and over come the ‘Stresses and Strains’ in a job .

There are several ‘Workforce study Programs, Projects and Institutions and the like, all aimed only with a view and object to ventilate and bring forward the hidden and not-applied soft skills and make the officials aware of the same , to have positive approach and avoid unwarranted job obstructions, etc.

The preferential equations that are going to be applied here in the soft skills technicalities are meant to expose the positive work-spot mannerism; decision making, solve the problems, not postponing and waiting for superiors, and to navigate interest to learn more and more. This shall include how to deal the situation and not to indulge in false-promises and to handle the situation by not getting the matters to the worst.

Their failure can also be attributable to their lack of or non application of soft skills which they already have, but side lined and not brought to application in time.

·                                     This ‘Soft Skill’ methodology now being taught to one and all, in particular to the rank and file in the ‘Police Forces’ is but because they are being /becoming the soft target from all the directions and corners and becoming the scape-goats for that ‘time and place’ and the actual doers are safeguarded, covered on one or the other way.

·                                     There may be more than 100 such soft skills, techniques, which every one shall exhibit interest to learn and follow in their day to day life and become the best server of the Citizens, the organization for which they are working for. These techniques and keys are provided in the training programs.

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3. Soft Skills---SOME OF the ‘SOFT SKILLS’ INCLUDE

·       First and foremost-Patience in hearing, listening attitude; application of ‘the attitude’ to/on others;

·       the next, the quality and quantity in communication skills;

·       the language adopted to reciprocate, convene, negotiate, address a group, in a meeting, etc;

·       the mannerism and the decorum exhibited in process of handling a situation;

·       one shall be incorporated the incriminating matters like-courtesy, reliability, contact-a back bone for any work force system-; body language, ‘eye-to-eye’ contact- speaking methodology; cooperation and coordination with team spirit; developing ‘intelligence’ system in an organization;

·       One shall be made to learn and know about adoptability and/or adaptability in the team, group or management; if there is any type of dependability come cross, how to bear and sustain, and how long and approachability to higher superiors for help, etc;

·       Day to day warm up of the present and updated Rules, Regulations, references,  Instructions/Orders/Notifications, library management, education, Laws on the given field; and there shall be guiding principle and always willing to learn more and more with good ethics;

·       supervisory techniques that include self-supervision, to be a good supervisor by becoming first in attendance, last to go, lunch hour management, in all respects and aspects to  guide the others; ready to face the situation without avoiding or throwing the blame on others and to have accountability and answering to queries in good spirit;

·       to develop and adopt inter-departmental and inter-personal, inter-personnel relationship and to have more inter-actions with the counter parts, public ,businessmen, customers, visitors and a lot;

·       to have’ First impression is the best impression’ methods to follow and become a ‘lead’ and then the best to ‘Lead’;

·       to learn to ‘Note down’, carry ‘Note pads, if you can not remember, just to refresh and to ’remind’ what was told, and what to do with it, and to make out a brief immediately on conclusion of meeting, etc.;

·       Executive/Non-Executive/Managerial/any professional, Behavioral Science/soft skills that can be included: Angry Control methods; outburst, breakdown, tactical formulations depending on the situation; issue of executable/non-executable Orders/Notifications (like suspension orders) to convince the agitating mob, groups, political, trade unions, etc.

·       If they still want to know more and more on the soft skills, they are plenty of information available on this subject matter over the internet, and some specified Books, etc.

4: Soft Skills--The Other side- just opposite of ‘SOFT SKILLS’ INCLUDE:

Before we really understand the importance and about the application ‘soft skills ‘ in our day to day working system, one has to , invariably, bear in mind  that there shall be some change of approach and aptitude to learn the soft skills for its real application in our daily life. For this purpose,  one has to lean back ward and see whether, if any, of the following matters are they possessing, and if so, then to think of the same and seriously to apply soft skills to eradicate them from our mind set to win one and the all:

·       Professional Jealousy; adamant replies, answers, vogue questions ; making others to strike against the administration, management;

·       Just to oppose mode of working/attitude;

·       to create and counsel for agitations, develop anti-administration, or anti-Officer’s approach to the employees, public, etc.;

·       One sided decision makings, creating instability and awkward situations before the arrival of superiors, uproar even on unwarranted and unwanted matters;

·       Adaptation of illegal methods to create chaos, fear complex, job insecurity in the minds of loyal workers;

·       Trying to hush-up matters without bringing to the notice of superiors;

·       joining and encouraging, abetting ‘white collar crimes’, corrupt practices, collection of funds, donations which are otherwise restricted/banned, or made illegal;

·       provocation methods adopted on  public, employees, other leaders on flimsy matters, which could have been solved through normalized regular inter-action meetings/discussions;

·       Passing on information/intelligence of the organization to others on personal gain, working for others being inside the closed group of the organization;

·       Having gained know-how on ‘under-issue/dispute-resolved- matters-‘, show of strength for gaining popularity on matters which have already been sanctioned/approved but awaiting for Orders/Notifications, and thereby trying to get leadership ,patronization in the organization;

·       Emotional disagreements, maladjustments, disintegrations, favoritisms, encouraging disorderliness;

·       Making the Boss to lean towards him/her by all types of skills including illegal acts and get favoritisms of rewards, promotion ,medals, choice postings;

·       Soft cornering of all likings and sideling disliking personnel, soft dealings;

·       Side tracking the subject matter; trying to make the Boss ‘complacent’ by diverting from the main works/inspections;

5: Soft Skills--Trainer and the Trainee inter-relationship in learning Soft Skills:

First of all one shall understand what exactly ‘Soft Skills’ mean, and why one should know and learn about it in detail. Why should they show inclination to attend the Classes/Course; why they should learn and for what gain?

These are the questions which generally and in particular rose by some of the Professionals and the job-holders. This is just because they are already in a job and that they can do nothing further in their profession. Is it possible at this stage, or at this later age to learn and understand within a span of 3 to 5 days, and for whose sake? The trainee might be thinking that after all, they are already in good positions and with sound earnings, and that their traits shall not be wiped out over night and washed out of their fixed mind set.

The Trainer shall make them to understand the importance and viability of the ‘soft skills’ and that:

The unhealthy mindsets are responsible for the level of one’s performance, with stagnations, and with out further progress or development in the course of job/ life span. The responsibility lies within and not to blame the other or the God on one or the other pretext or context; this reaction to our circumstances is usually acquired at a very young age and can last through the lifetime. We generally precise and perceive every thing with retrospective and not with prospective and positive thoughts and for application.

However, all these negative approaches, aspects can also be transformed if a conscious decision is made to embrace a more positive mindset to handle everyday situations in a more constructive manner.

The trainers answer shall be and must be in affirmative and always go with positive approach to make the learner, the trainee to make them believe that every thing in this Class Room and in fact in the world is always possible, only if they just concentrate, with attentive mood and apply their mind toward the Trainer without getting distracted/districted by any means.

Take the cases of the trainees coming to office/work place every day using their own vehicles from their houses or else just to observe the driver as to how attentive and applies his mind only on the road and use driving techniques. However, even if so, his ears might be just listening to your talk/conversation, but still for all, he shall not distract his attention and concentration from his assigned duty.

It is just that simple and easy way to learn ‘Soft Skills’ in no time. One shall keep himself aware of the class room behavior and be disciplined to learn from the Trainer. There is nothing new to learn about, only application of the mind on the matters which they have earlier neglected or not tried to apply with eager and with positive thoughts; the Trainer shall emphasis on the importance of ‘Soft Skills’ and as to how these help the conscious trainees develops their inbuilt theories to put into practicality in a given time and spot.

The short term training helps them for personal/personality development and self respect is geared from all corners.

6: Soft Skills---STRESS AND STRAIN MANAGEMENT IN SOFT SKILLS:

Stress and strain are the two separate and independent aspects to deal in soft skills and of course both are interactive and always present in the body and in the mind. Both are overlapped and make their presence if one does not take interest to wipe them away permanently and disable them from the body and the mind. If one can make out both these matters under one’ own control and command, that is one can say with comfort ness and steady that you are about to reach the goal and the productivity and reach the pinnacles.

What are your rank, designation, status and portfolio in your job-work or at the work place? These are very simple points one shall not weigh but very important while dealing some of the sensitive matters and policy finalizations.

Capacity and capability to understand and perform the given task is another aspect in a job for which soft skills play a vital role. You can only go to the extent possible to which your memory and understanding capacity leads you and that is all; you feel to go further, but can not? Why? A sports person can perform to the best of his/her capacity and capability with all their physical and mental strength and stamina; but beyond it, they require vigorous, postulation continuous, uninterrupted and un-interfered practice with one’s own interest, mental ability, without any distractions and destructions from foreign forces.

Like the sports person all executives, non-executives and others shall make their mind set with firm foot to learn and apply soft skills, which are nothing but for their prospective jobs, and higher and higher goals.

To achieve the target, one shall have to make a balance of not only the physical systems but also make the mind and all other psychological systems to one point of concentration by stress and strain management.

One shall keep himself with ease, control anger, ready to take up fatigue, coordinate and cooperate with other concerned and not concerned persons; keep the body and mind at one point/job work spot; take any given job as a challenge with sportive mind and not for competition duly keeping all types of emotions, ranks and positions, levels, needs; not to go in deep to get himself irritations about others, not to try to maneuver others by wicked things, control others by hasty steps and commands.

Professional success always and at every time and point is correlated to ‘stress and strain’. You may be any person, and holding any job, the job you acquire may be or may not be as desired by you or according to your standards of living and education. But still you have opted to take up the job for money sake, or otherwise, the organization require and expect that you work for them and your object shall be to make them happy with your hard work, sincerity and devotion and reach the object assigned to you.

8: Soft Skills--Some tips you can always rely and adopt/adapt with confidence to achieve your goal in the life through soft skills:

1.                                                  try always to be in time to reach to the work place;

2.                                                  be attentive and concentrate on the given job;

3.                                                  not to interfere and not to give any uncalled for unwanted or unwarranted advice or suggestions either to the Boss, or the subordinates or to colleagues, and even to the workers;

4.                                                  Once you leave the HOME for the work place, forget about home affairs and family matters. Do not carry on the head-ache and irretrievable matters, whatever may be the result of good or bad pertains to the family.

5.                                                  Always keep in mind that your health is your body guard and your physical standard alone makes you look better and handsome/beautiful with proper dressing code, if any; keep it up with timely breakfast and controlled diet either at home ,at work place or at luncheon/dinner spots. One thing to note- you are being watched by others at all places and also at the table-be aware, table manners makes a lot of difference in your professional life now and always.

6.                                                  Always follow your Doctor’s health tips, medicine, and follow time management; Your stress and strain have a bearing on your health and thinking conditions too; Health is wealth, when you loose health, you have to go for medicine and the doctor, when health is lost everything is lost and you have to either skip the shifts, job days and earnings and pay for the doctor and on lot of things. This ultimately gives impact on your work and on the Boss, who is having a third eye- on your working system either at the office, work place or out side.

7.                                                  Always try to help your co workers and try to remove/solve the barricades, if any, and over come the barriers;

8.                                                  irritation, emotional out burst, loud talk, personal feelings, whether rational or irrational about others, anger, sown grading others, uncalled for comments, criticism, praise, boosting, individualization and keeping aloof from others, nepotism, partiality, are some of the matters to be borne in mind at the work place which however short may be, they shall invariably reflect on your work and in prospective promotions with retrospective validations.

9.                                                  Having reached the work place at the given time and taken up the job work, if you feel tired, just relax and keep your self free from all types of thinking and make your physical –body and the mind at rest for some time at ease, even closing your eyes;

10.                                               Whatever may be your lunch/dinner timings, you have to eat some thing in time and not to postpone eating, you may be the best worker and the job assigned to you also may very important and urgent, still for all, have some thing in time which keeps you hale and healthy, and mind set at ease.

11.                                               Keep the mind set and with physical awareness at the work place makes you to win over all types of stress and strains. Your personal factors shall not impair or shall have impact on the job. That is stress and strain management.

12.                                                Do not curse any person what so ever, leave he matters to the God, if you believe so, and be attentive at your work, everything shall be all right and with positive thinking for prospective professionalism.

13.                                               Always remember, past is always past. By recycling the matters whether good or bad, nothing is going to be achieved in future from out of it, except the experience and knowledge. Keep them in mind but not to vibrate them and for comparisons;

8: Soft Skills-                             The 8-RIDS- factors- kill soft skills:

Soft Skills vis-à-vis Rudeness, Impatience, Irrigative, Irritation, Desperation, Digression, Depression and shyness:

One of most and very important matter that one shall bear always and at all times  in mind is about the eight factors mentioned herein above, that is, Rudeness, Impatience, Irrigative, Irritation, Desperation, Digression , Depression, and shyness.

These are the things one generally and in real life has seen at one or the other point of time and occasion, whether you experienced to apply or controlled yourself not apply them in the course of your duty are all the factors depend on your mind set, as to how you take the situation, that is to say, if you take it in a light and positive sense, then there is nothing to worry about, and or otherwise if you take in opposite sense with negative mind set, all the above factors come in line, one after the other to make most discomfort and uneasiness in your work place.

In soft skills application of one of the Rule is that you masticate all these matters once for all from the mind set whether you are in the work spot or at home. Then you see yourself as to how the matters change in your favor and you shall be the master for one and all.

Once you devalue all these factors from your life, you shall become the master of yourself in commanding others at ease, as you do not get angry, frustration, rudeness, and take up the work as a challenge by facing and confronting with boldness, keeping aside all your discomforts, problems, personal factors and disagreements.

 Once you mastermind on all these matters, you get boldness and clarity with firmness to face and take up any assigned job and complete in the given time. Your assertive behavior has been washed out from you mind and body once for all. The only matter to achieve is that you shall practice and attain the most important factor- patience, no irritation, not getting angry, leave out the anxiety syndrome, tensions, etc.  The soft skills are nothing but what you have already possessed but not aware of the same to be applied as and when to be required to be applied to get the best result and become a successful person in the life.

Just following the soft skills, you get what you deserved for. You shall have the ability and understanding capacity and to have better communication methodology. The challenges, the tasks, the goals, the problems and what not can just be yours with proper application of these methods, the Boss always think of you for your smoothness, productivity, Human-Relations-Management, and the skills you now possessed. Every one shall speak of you as you the best and the most deserving person to be upgraded from one post to higher post and they shall not feel to loose you at any cost. Just apply and see yourself.

9: Soft Skills: Application of proper and timely communication skills

One shall agree in all respects that communication skills play a vital role in any type of management systems. Proper and timely communication system with clarity in making the other person to understand without any ambiguity and in time shall mean that your approach and communication system has been directed towards achieving the goal and production will increase to the maximum expected.

It is a zest and the determination of the will, with a kind of action/                                                              
excitement that leads one to reach greater heights by keeping the communication channels open. Communication system is the life blood for advancement in any organization, being aware of potential problems; you can fix them before a serious dispute arises.

How many types of communication system you can make out?

·                                          Direct and Indirect;

·                                          Verbal and non-verbal;

·                                          Documentary- telegrams; Fax; SMS; e-mail and or other WWW 

·                                          communication through internet and other Electronic Systems;

·                                           Non-documentary;

·                                          Body-Language;

·                                          News paper and Media advertisemnetswith their won encrypted or ciphered codes like birth day greetings, safe travel;marriage dates; piligrimage; touring; meetings; et.

·                                          Same type on Channels scrollings,etc..;

·                                          These communications, includes, person to person talk, which also include body language, whisperings, eye contacts, nods, etc. The only thing is that the person who tries to communicate shall see that the matter is simple, to the point and the most understandable in language and letters/speech so that the other person who receives it does not misinterprets and or mistake it; in these communication system Direct and Indirect; Verbal and Non-verbal, Inter-personal communications can also be included; The communication via wireless system, telephones, cells, video-talk, and the like also fall within interpersonal communications.

·                                          Documentary communication includes, the present type of Fax, hand writing, typing, use of electronics equipments, photo-printing, cipher/code language between two/or more persons/groups, etc.

Here again, one shall need to know about the explanations, listening skills, and communication of the transfer of the information sought for by one person and expressing the matters by another person. Both have to follow the soft skills to understand each other, the matter in question, and fact in issue. There shall not be any over enthusiasm and anxiety for gaining impressions, which may, at times lead to improper projection of the information.

Always, at all the occasions, first try to understand the situation, the sequence, the scene, verify and make minute observations of the spot, listen to most of the persons who are found at the spot or eye witnesses, hear them with patience, remember what they say, understand and then communicate in simplest and easy language to the Boss.

10: Soft Skills-MOTIVATION: A simple word but works in depth like the drug:

In simple words ‘motivation is nothing but the driving force by which humans achieve their goals’. It is an ART of Professional’s Skills; it ascribes and works as an act, as a persuasion, to make the conditioning of the state of the mind to accept to take up the given tasks at the given point of place and work on it successfully to complete in the given time. 

It is a zest and the determination of the will, with a kind of action/                                                               
excitement that leads one to reach greater heights by keeping the communication channels open. Communication system is the life blood for advancement in any organization, being aware of potential problems; you can fix them before a serious dispute arises.

 If you want to make things happen the ability to motivate yourself and others is a crucial skill. At work, home, anywhere and everywhere in between, people use motivation to get results.

 Motivation requires a delicate balance of communication, structure, and incentives and other norms of soft skills. These tactics will help everyone maximize motivation in one’s own-self motivation and in others also. For better result on a specific work-job, either at home or in the office or in the filed, one shall be specific in the task to be given, for a specific result, with specific instructions.

People work well when they know exactly what is expected,   from each of them in group, or individually. People work more effectively when they feel like part of the organization/a team and more specifically that they are not being discarded or segregated or singled out on one or the reason — they don’t want to let others down.

 Make a point to recognize achievements one-on-one and also in group settings. People like to see that their work is not being ignored. Be assured and make known to one and all that ‘no one likes to work with someone standing over their shoulder’. This is the philosophy or the psychology of the workmen, whether they are at the lowest labour level, or at the executive levels.

Always make sure that you have ventilated your action plan to them in clear terms and nothing left in ambiguity and in confusion. Always direct your work force on outcomes — make it clear with certainty, what you want from them. Give them freeness and freedom at the work spot, but keep in mind you over see them now and then, with out the work or the workmen distracted, at least let them feel that you have given a free hand to get it done on their own notion.

Give people the trust and respect they deserve and they’ll respond to requests much more favorably. Give them the opportunity to face new and difficult problems and they’ll be more enthusiastic. Most people want to improve and will make an effort once they know how to do it.

Make it a habit, not to criticize any person in front of others and openly. Call them to sit with you, while exchanging views and as if knowing about the work, make them/the person what actually you want from him, you can see the result very entertaining.

Keep in mind, always and at all the time not to demand and command on the work aspect and do not expect that the work shall be done with threatening words or actins; and note that if the work is not completed with in the specified target period, instead, be a member of the team, join them and help them to solve the problem and every thing shall be resolved. Let them have and make them to feel some fun and the positive environment which shall lead to better results. Give them opportunity to advance. Let them know that hard work, sincerity and honesty will always pay.

The contentment and the job satisfaction come through proper motivation. You shall enjoy the true application of the mind and workmanship, contentment, joy, and the excitement of completion of the given job work. Once inducted to take up the challenge, this Motivation works like a drug, even as addict in the minds of the Manager, who takes up the matters as a challenge.

The motivation may also include extra payment of money, or money valued gifts, vouchers, advancements, reward, praise with mementos, and mention in the Souvenirs, bonus, on the spot reward in terms of cash.

Motivation gives you the balance in the work, work spot and at home. You shall know as to manage with the planning, distribution, time schedule, etc. You can solve the problems with team spirit and coordination. This motivation only take you to the top of the ‘performance – base’ accreditation, and ‘performance appraisal’ to higher and higher rates. This helps in differentiation between the target, time and the work assigned with quality improvement, measurement of workmanship.

Motivation leads you in to right direction, right path to reach the objective and the goal. You can even with stand to the completive world challenges in any industry or organization.

A day shall come in to the mind that you never work for money or appreciation or reward sake, but you work for the work sake, you feel happy and joy; you feel proud of yourself, not aiming and expecting that some one should tap you for the good work done with personal satisfaction.

Indeed, one shall accept and go on with motivation and the next one is with will power, by eliminating all the negative thoughts and influences... Success is with you.

                              

11: Soft Skills: Will power and its Essence:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that, his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt.

 Most of the persons whether at the work spot or at other places, find themselves aloof and as discriminated from others, a typical type of negative thought emerged right from the beginning of their life span. These soft skills wake them up to the reality and make them understand that nothing in this world is unconquerable if there is real effort with positive thoughts and concentrations.

Recognize them, slowly and without even their knowledge segregate them from others, and inculcate, educate them as to how they can be helped to eliminate negative influences working on them and show the way out. Some one is shy, afraid of to take up any new assignment, a job work, or and always try to stand behind some one; they literally, succumb to any adverse criticism, they get hurt; they always feel to be alone and try to work all alone with out support and they hate groups, team works; seek out those who resonate with them. This is all nothing but lack of will power.

 The only thing to do is to recognize them and console them with greater precaution and carefulness; make them to cheerful and happy to be with you; inculcate within themselves that you are also like all the others and that you have achieved great things slowly only by creating will power.

You always make them to feel that you too faced lot of defeats and adversities, failures, disparity from among the others, insults, and so on. And after some time, make them to understand what type of privileges and perks you are now getting by self determination and personal will power. Make them to realize that they shall aspire for it and go for it.

Make them to believe that you there for them and follow them at the work spot and when needed; Enrich good will power in them by making out some or the story type matters of success like the Taj Mahal; The Rome; are not built in a day or by one person alone; the group, the team spirit shall make every thing a success and to reach the goal. Tell them that a nest by a bird is built by several attempts and with hard work.

Create full confidence and reality of the life. Push them forward and make them to take up the task with a challenge that they are no less than any other person; they are equally strong and have strength to face stress and have stamina to reach to the goal.

12: Soft Skills: Desire- Early stage evaluation and its control work On the Character and Values:

                There need be no further explorations, explanations, and detailing about its meaning, for each and every work, word, just go through, you shall Analyze and understand through heart and soul as to the Following:

·                                                    No predecessor is a hero to his successor'
'Character and Values count foremost; this reformation makes ethical conduct and discipline';

·                                                    "who you are, what your values are, what you stand for-they are your anchor, your North Star; You won't find them in a Book; You find them in YOUR soul;(Anne Mulcahy, CEO, Xerox)";

·                                                     " Desire is the mother; when strong desire is thwarted, twins are born, viz. the Anger and Jealousy; Its fulfillment leads to birth of the third child, that is, attachment; Increased Attachments gives birth to the fourth child, that is the Greed; Its quenching results in birth of the youngest child, that is, Conceit.

·                                                     Sai Baba said-'Put this mother to sleep, then the children will vacate the House ( that is from YOUR mind, thoughts, and all things, your undesired wants shall go)-;

·                                                     HAPPINESS-can be increased by reducing desires, not to entertain desires; All that is necessary for the evil to triumph is for good men to say or do nothing-Edmund Burke-;

·                                                      'Injustice when tolerated gets propagated; Toleration is the basis for corruption; No organization can be corrupt if the majority of its members report unethical conduct';

·                                                     'To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards out of men"-Abraham Lincoln;

·                                                     'the basement for corrupt practices to glow and flourish is by superiors nod and silence;

·                                                    'Life is too short to be spent in fault-finding, holding grudges or keeping memory of wrongs done to us; Forgive even before forgiveness is asked (for);forgive and forget'- Sadhu Vaswani;

·                                                     'People that value its privileges above its principles, soon lose both'-EISENHOWER:

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12: Soft Skills: FEATURE FOR FUTURE-- DISCARD NONE IN LIFE:

·       Read very carefully and in between the lines: Most important rational point in the learning of Soft Skills:::: Have Patience, by all means, they may be wrong or unworthy, or unwarranted, or uncalled for, or unethical, or hasty in action, or undermining , or and what not???????????.

·       The one who has the power of realization is the one who can bring transformation.
 When something goes wrong we immediately begin to look for excuses, or explanations, why that mistake happened. This finishes our power of realization and we will not be able to recognize our own mistake. Then we will not be able to work at improving ourselves and we will not be able to bring any transformation.
 Instead of looking for excuses for what all happened, we need to take the opportunity to check within ourselves and see our own mistake(s). When we recognize our mistake, however small it may be, we will be able to work on it. Only when we are able to realize our own mistake, will we be able to bring about transformation in ourselves. 

             (A): Did YOU feel INSULTED:

·                                                                        At one place or the other, or on some occasions you might have been insulted or you have felt in yourself that you have been insulted, but for the reasons not exposed, you kept quite or digested the insult, but, still, you are not happy about it- the happening- the incident and you are unable to forgive or forget about the person(s), and so on:

·                                                                        The INSULT, the words, is only a vibration in the air, just touching to your heart, the heart-breaking words; it is nothing but actually feeling a physical pain in the region of the heart. It occurs only when we does not compromise with the words spoken against or toward us, this is insult only when our discrimination has in fact failed us to understand in retrospective or prospective or when our mind thoughts stopped Yoga and meditation aspects:

·                                                                        When we feel insulted and then utilize the Sadhana and retire into seclusion for a while and reflect our Guru-the soul and retrieve the matters in all the ways-- that;

·                                                                        He/ or they insulted only my body, mind and little self, I did not loose any self respect at all, who are they to talk about me, I am not that;

·                                                                        He can not insult my real self, the soul, because he himself is my own self; I shall make best use of it to analyze it;

·                                                                        By insulting my little self, he is really helping me in dissociating with it;

·                                                                        His insult has enabled me to come face to face with my own egoism, my interaction with my soul, God has given me an opportunity to crush it once for all;

·                                                                        The only new point of version, now I discovered is—he has pointed out openly to me what he considers/considered as a defect in me; he has given me an opportunity to analyze the same for myself;

·                                                                        O’ God, I am always thankful to him:

·                                                                        Now, I do not get irritated and I shall not get angry and console my self and my soul:

              (B): SUCCESS at our door step:

·                                                                        Success never goes or runs away for you, unless you move, run away from it;

·                                                                        To have success in your life- always ask questions for your self, discriminate between the good, the bad and the worst;

·                                                                        Set goals, be a team leader and the best of all learn to be a team player first;

·                                                                        Always try to listen to directions, follow through on the assignments, then success follows you;

·                                                                        Have faith in the working system.  Faith  grows only when you use it;

·                                                                        Be courageous and no looking back, it takes you to your goals and you reach the destiny;

·                                                                        Courage makes you to stand up and speak boldly and with out fear, as fear is a contagious disease;

·                                                                        Courage and fearlessness, both take you to sit down with calmness, steady mind and listen, and then act;

·                                                                        Life is great, make use of it and make the most of it;

·                                                                        Try to discover your weakness and rectify for future;

·                                                                        Do not expose or explore your weaknesses to others, even to dear ones; life is precious and let them not use it to down grade you, think always that some one is awaiting to let you down;

·                                                                        Always stop making and contributing excuses and explanations.

       (C): YOU are there for me always: rather I did not miss YOU:

·                                                                        The happiness that is coming from inner peace and believing in yourself, and that I did not miss you;

·                                                                        What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other,  even still apart, we are together;

·                                                                        A special bond holds us together, un separable by any means, a bond that grew from within, from whispered confidence, from fights and squabbles;

·                                                                        You made my mind a wonderful place for you, and now also I am stronger just always, knowing that you are there within me;

·                                                                        I wish you the sort of happiness and the joy, the happiness that comes from success and celebrations, and showing the world what you can do, for me of course;

·                                                                        The happiness that comes from being loved and part of a meaningful relationship, we are though apart;

     (D): BE HE LEADER AND NOT ALWAYS THE BOSS:

·                                                                                  The boss drives his men, the leader inspire them;

·                                                                                  The boss depends on authority, the leader depends on goodwill;

·                                                                                  The boss evokes fear, the leader radiates love;

·                                                                                  The boss says “I”, the leader says “We”;

·                                                                                  The boss shows who is wrong, the leader shows what is wrong;

·                                                                                  The boss knows how it is done, the leader knows how to do it;

·                                                                                  The boss demands respect, the leader commands respect…..

·                                                                                   Still to fill up the blank place--- the leader is always with you, always and all ways::::

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 If you try to apply on others of YOUR choice:  ‘JUST HOW I FEEL- OF YOU AND FOR YOU’:

·                                                                        Thank you sweetheart, just for believing in me, when I found it difficult to believe in myself::::

·                                                                        Thank you for saying what I have needed to hear sometimes, instead of  what I have wanted to hear…, thank you for siding with me and forgiving me, “ I love you”::::::::::; still…….

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13: Soft Skills: NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH Murphy's Laws. - (DISAMBIGUATION): Prarabhdam or the Karma-sutras-etc. Just for reading: Information and knowledge harms nothing and none:

These following lines are brought out hereunder with a view to state the minds of some of the persons who are not aligned or meant to understand and go for the ‘Soft Skills’ application in their day to day life and achieve the target and the goal. It is aimed to project some of these only to go through and not to be taken to heart at any cost. You can just see as to how some persons does not want to exert and apply their mind set with free inspiration and will power.

·  Murphy was found to be an optimist, as they say. Murphy's Laws symbolize the error-prone nature of people and processes.  If the truth of all these laws makes you depressed, just remember that Murphy's Law even applies to itself. At times, it too goes wrong, allowing you to accomplish something.

·  It is but natural to have a lengthy and prolonged discussions and debates on which one disagree with each other, but still the arguments with citations and stories, pointing each other’s mistakes, faults- known or unknown- and the lot are often become the subject matter in a subject for which one is not concerned and connect much but have nothing to do with the result or outcome of it: Then, who is at fault? The listener, the liquidizer, the literati, and the Reader at last!!!

·  What actually you know about Murphy? In fact I do know nothing about anything as to what is that and what they mean about, but I know little about Murphy’s radio, that is all, but still I read them, but quite surprisingly I do not know as to when and how to apply them and where?;

·  Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you.  Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.  ~Murphy's Law.

·  Some of the Quotations listed here under are just to mean about its existence and are generally found on web pages ,they just belong to some or the other category of quotations that are known at least when some one talk about  "Murphy's Laws."  If something can go wrong, it will. If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value. The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at. Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand. The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm. Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure. The first myth of management is that it exists.  "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."

·  If there is something you must do and you cannot do it, you cannot do anything else. 

·  How is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?

·  As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 

·            A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist.

·  It's always been and always will be the same in the world:  The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped.

·  An unwatched pot boils immediately.

·  If you wonder where your child left his roller skates, try walking around the house in the dark.

·  Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.  

·  Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. 

·  If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.

·  People who snore always fall asleep first.

·  The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.  

·  Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

·            If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.

·            Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

·            It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

·            Everything goes wrong all at once.

·            Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

·            Smile... tomorrow will be worse.

·            If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the first one to go wrong.  If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.

·            If several things that could have gone wrong have not gone wrong, it would have been ultimately beneficial for them to have gone wrong.

·            Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

·            If anything can't go wrong, it will anyway.

·            If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

·            If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

·            Everything takes longer than you think.

·            You never find a lost article until you replace it.

·            If nobody uses it, there's a reason.

·            You get the most of what you need the least.

·            Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

·  It is an experience common to all men to find that, on any special occasion, such as the production of a magical effect for the first time in public, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Whether we must attribute this to the malignity of matter or to the total depravity of inanimate things, whether the exciting cause is hurry, worry, or what not, the fact remains.

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